Open Angst Post

[biwildered]

Text ✦ Action ✦ hurt/comfort ✦ Post Episode Codas

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[competitivefees]

His chest hurts, and his face feels hot as he watches the monitor. He doesn't even notice the tears starting to roll down his face.

Bobby, Bobby who changed his life, gone, and damn that hurts, he doesn't dilute the fact that they saved Chimney, but he can feel the dark cloud rolling in.

But what is shredding his insides, whether it looks like it or not, is watching Evan on the floor like his very heart is being ripped out of his chest.

He wipes repeatedly at his face, but the tears won't stop, and he starts to move, not even thinking about it.

The flashing light and the claxon alarm do little to hide the sobs he's following. Tommy kneels down, not sure if he should reach out and touch Evan, his own tears still coming.

But he reaches out a hand and puts it on Evan's back, "Evan..." he's surprised at how rough his own voice is the slight crack in it, but he knows it's nothing compaired to the pain and grief ripping through the man on the ground, the man he's realizing he loves.

The man whose pain he can't take away, but maybe he can soothe it by a tiny fraction.

[biwildered]

Evan jerks in surprise, not having heard Tommy coming up next to him. The rushing of blood in his ears makes him unable to hear anything. The touch, however, breaks through his haze, and he looks up at Tommy, broken.

"T-Tommy, W-why? Why didn't he tell us?" He asked quietly, grasping at Tommy, needing something to ground him in this new reality.

[competitivefees]

"I... I don't know, Evan," he says, taking a deep breath and sitting down next to Evan; he can feel the damp of the tunnel through his flight suit, but it's a faraway feeling.

He keeps his hand on Evan's back, the contact as much for himself as it is for Evan.

"He knew there was only one dose... maybe that's why," he says, trying to keep the tears from rolling down his face; this was more Evan's loss than his, but maybe the tears are for Evan as well.

He wraps his arms around the man and squeezes tightly, wanting him to feel it through his turnouts.

[biwildered]

"But..." Evan trails off, sinking further into Tommy, letting the older man take more of his weight. He knew that he should pull it together, but his fucking Dad just died and left him. Being strong could go fuck itself for all Buck cared.

"Stay? I know... you don't have to and the way we... but please?"

[competitivefees]

"Evan," He says, keeping his arms wrapped about the man, trying to hold himself together, be there for the man he loved, no matter what they were right now.

He hushes Evan, tightening his grip, "I'm not going anywhere, Evan, I'll stay as long as you want me to, we don't have to talk about this now, though," he says, his voice rough.

Why be apart when we can be together... drifts through his mind as he holds the slightly younger man against him.

He looks around the tunnel; he can feel a few tears start to fall from his eyes. "We should, we should move."